Living the dream

Keep the dream alive…

Today, I watched Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s famous “I Have a Dream” speech on my brand new beloved little I Pad. On this day, we reflect on the dream he eloquently shared with us so many years ago, reminding all people in this country that we are one, that we must stand together to fight injustice, and that the dream of equality must be sought by everyone.

This week marks the anniversary of the self-inflicted death of Phoebe, a Massachusetts teenager who, those who were near her say she felt unaccepted, taunted, and bullied by fellow students. She was different; she spoke in a different dialect from the others; she was new to the community. Only three months ago, a talented classical musician, and freshman from Rutgers, intentionally slipped off the George Washington Bridge; reports indicate he intended to escape taunting from his peers. He marched to the beat of a different drummer; his roommate is accused of publicly outing the boy.

Prejudice and reprehensible treatment of people knows no zip code. Bad behavior toward kids considered “different” knows no region, socio economic status, nor branch of faith. We have all seen it, we all know of it, but what do we do to not just deter – to not just stop demeaning treatment of others, but to not accept bullying in our own zip codes?

Dr. King states in his famous speech that he hopes his “four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Parents today have come very far in realizing Dr. King’s dream of racial equality. Those who would never even think of using a racial slur anywhere, let alone in front of their children, comfortably poke fun at “nerdy” differences in other children.

In the years my Elise and Nick were growing up, I heard many times from parents (and shamefully, even myself), snickering at other children’s girth, mannerisms, and behaviors. I have stories, we all do, but they are not for this conversation, as repeating them perpetuates the “joke.”

We must begin early by reading books to our children that promote acceptance, that the television characters we encourage not be ones that demonstrate cruelty and stereotypes, but perpetuate caring and kindness. I remember the television show Everybody Loves Raymond, where too many jokes seem to center around put downs and insults. Raymond represents the misunderstood hero, and everybody loves him. Welcome to the fantasy of television –somewhere along the line (long ago) it became ok to laugh at ourselves and the foibles of others. Self-deprecating humor is probably my favorite, but we cross a line when we use our own insecurities to hurt others.

When people attempt to feel better at the expense of others, we perpetuate the very behavior that thousands marched on Washington with Dr. King to break down and destroy. Dr. King rallied for a united nation. “One nation under God.” He equated equality to freedom, and expressed his dream that all people be recognized for their inner selves, not from appearances and backgrounds. I love him for that, and thank you to all teachers who show students this speech in honor of Dr. King’s birthday.

Tomorrow: we will shift gears and continents and I will share a story of resiliency in the face of a street-side wardrobe malfunction in Shanghai.